This is not a post about perfectly organizing your closet or about a horror movie. Instead it’s about times when we need to LET IT OUT and LET IT GO.
I remember hearing from my mother once, ‘Sam, You need a Screaming Closet’. And I guess I thought it was a pretty common term but after trying to research it on the internet, I haven’t found much in the history of linguistics using it. But anyway, it means, when life has got you down you need to 1) shut yourself in a closet and 2) scream it out. I know we are taught to not scream, and we’d all like to be very well adjusted to not need to rage, but honestly, I think it helps me occasionally.
It’s kind of like climbing a mountain and screaming, ‘I’m queen of the world!’. It feels good to acknowledge your achievement of the climb. Likewise, I think it also feels good to acknowledge a struggle and take it out on 20 year old pea-coats and mothballs (as opposed to anyone else).
One time I was hiking with my dog in a relatively closed off 300-acre park in a suburban area and thought I was fairly alone. I had had a a few tough weeks at work, lots of deadlines, had just failed the CFA Level II (silly finance certification everyone has glorified and I made it my mission to achieve), challenging co-workers, my new husband was working away for 6 months and I had just fallen down and twisted my ankle…in the mud. (I know, I know, sorta http://www.whitewhine.com, but how many of y’all have been there too!) Anyway, I got up, hobbled over a hill that looked down over a highway, and let it out. I said, ‘THIS STINKS!’, ‘POOP’, ‘CRAP’, ‘WHY!!!!’, and a few more *!&*!&** (of those).
Then, I kinda instantly felt better, just saying, ‘I’m kinda at a bottom!!’ out loud, made me feel less like I was trying to hide it inside and pretend like everything was cool and under control. Then, in all honesty, I turned and saw that a nice 40 year old man and his tween son were staring at me from about 20 yards away wondering if they needed to get me some medical help. But you know what…I did all that I could do…. I just smiled…then waved…apologized for my filthy sailor mouth…and said, ‘I feel better now! Thanks!’. Then, believe it or not, they waved back, and with only a slight quiver in the voice said, ‘Great! Take care’, then they turned and walk off.
BUT, it kinda really did work. I calmed down, got up, went home, tied up my ankle, went back to work and did EVENTUALLY meet my deadlines, EVENTUALLY I did pass that exam (another good story of failures though) and my husband came home for a weekend visit. Unfortunately co-workers continued to be prickly, but that is just normal. Maybe if we all saw a few more crazy people screaming in the woods, there would be more well adjusted folks? That sounded better in my head…
I guess it’s hard to keep this in mind with a million and one blogs / social media saints all swearing by being cool and calm 100% of the time while achieving world domination. Really, I bet they scream in the closet too from time to time…
Any other screaming crazy lead to clarity moments???