Down the ego to Keep calm under the pressure….

keep calm and strut on

So we can chat about yoga, serenity prayers, time outs, taking a deep breath, running 5 miles each morning, or other sworn by methods to relax in a tense moment.  Navy seal guys go through months and months of deep conditioning training to reprogram their responses stress and chaos….why can’t we all?

To do lists a million miles long, lines of folks each with different requests (that need immediate responses), work drama, kid drama, friend and family drama, blood sugar crashes, and just dealing with being in closer than desired proximity to likely 1,000,000 complete strangers co-habitating your corner of the earth.    Yep, I have probably lost my Sh** on all of them at one point or another.  Short temper, veins popping out of the forehead, a tight grip on the forearm as I escort a screaming child away from whatever is overstimulating them into a fever of wants and needs as some of those million complete strangers look on in judgement…we have all been there. Likely, we have also calmed down after the fact and pulled it together to realize the situation could have been handled differently with different effects.  So how can this be avoided in the first place?

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De-stress fail…or was it?

Have you ever thought your stresses could be fixed with a quick girls weekend, partner time without kids or fabulous yoga retreat???

So I had a tough year of transitions, moving, crazy kids, crazy husband’s job, new country, new language…yada yada…www.whitewine.com.  The problem was that my ‘yada-yada’s were getting a little resentful-resentful and I started losing my patience and reacting (over-reacting) to lots of little things popping up in everyday life.  My husband would leave the kids dirty clothes on the stairs instead of putting it into the hamper…BOOM!!!  AAAAHHH look out for the rage!  (I am not justifying it, just being honest in my state of mind).

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Oh the extremes…partner communication failure and break through

Ying and Yang, Up and Down, Katy Perry’s Hot and Cold, good evil… Oh yes…the world has it’s opposites and extremes. I remember sometime after college there was a you-tube of this guy going around where he charted the attractiveness (‘hotness’) of a woman verses her mental stability (‘craziness’) and made the case that it was a positive and linear relationship.  I guess it could be taken offensively but I was not offended by it (i’m a geeky Math and Econ girl, I focused more on the chart!)

hotness craziness matrix link

hot vs. crazy

Whatever you may think of that guy and his theory, I think he may have a more general point about trade-offs, physical appearances aside. Anyway, my husband and I got into this chat the other day after I had a tough week.

Basically the premise is this…

  1. Some people in this world are really even keel, don’t really show getting overly excited, nor overly upset, are more quiet in social settings, ride their emotions more like gentle waves of the Outer Banks.
  2. Other people have bigger swings, get supper excited and happy then can get really low and frustrated even at a little tension, are more outgoing and social butterflies, surf emotions like the big kahuna waves and Mavericks.
  3. Us and a bunch of our married couple friends consist of one of each

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Speaking Fluent Spanish-ishly

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Apart from moving far from family, friends and traditional opportunities to work, a challenge of moving abroad is learning the language and local customs…but it’s also one of the fun parts too if the stress doesn’t tweak us out.  But, how many times have we all heard, ‘You’re moving there! oh you will just pick it up in 6 months, no problem!’  Yeah, I got that nugget of encouragement (torture) a lot…A LOT from people before & after we moved here.

Before I go into why this challenge is such a spectacular lesson (like all life we must think of the shitty times as such or else we lose all motivation for trying the impossible). I can state some very valid reasons (excuses) why I have struggled…

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Why I write about failures…

Image result for google images failure

There are many amazingly talented, successful people in the world today. They inspire us because their list of achievements, one right after another, make it all look easy.  That easiness makes others feel like success for them, too, is accessible.  We all want that. We all strive for efficient, but earned, success for our passions. But, sometimes we have kiss a lot of frogs before we find our prince charming.

Mine are the frog stories.  Personally, I learn a lot through failure. I am also a SLOW learner and very STUBBORN, so it often takes me a few failures to finally figure out I can force a square peg into a round hole.  I also work really hard, often too hard.  I have always been a bit of a busy body and pensive in my self-reflections, so I always try to do more.  I know, how ironic….a perfectionist failure devote.

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I get knocked down but I get up again….

Image result for I get knocked down

Nice quote by Nelson.  As for the song, that was a pretty nonsensical band name, and album name and over all a one hit wonder that got annoyingly stuck in the brain.  Kinda similar to how annoying it is when you are have a really crappy day and your super perky friend (whose favorite vacation still is Disneyland) gives you bear hugs, singing Dionne Warwick loudly in your ear while reminding you that life is so much better than you think.   COME ON PEOPLE, we need practical help not movie scenes and barney songs!

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Asking questions…oh the hypocrisy!

 

Image result for asking questions

We have all been there,  reading the same line in a book or newspaper 5 times and still not getting it, trying to understand what our 401K is really invested in, or trying to pronounce hoity-toity french ingredients correctly while out at the latest hipster farm to table spot. The feeling of not always understanding what’s going on around us, was a feeling I remember as a kid and still face as an adult.  I never grew out of it, and can’t imagine I ever will. Even though the subject matters may have changed, there are lots of things that baffle me on a daily basis.  But why…why, is it so difficult for us to open our mouths, raise our hands and simply ask for clarity sometimes?

In finding a picture for this post, I did a search on google images and was surprise at how many pictures are about calling people out for asking ‘STUPID QUESTIONS’, wasting peoples time, answering sarcastically and overall judging them for asking in the first place.  Tough crowd.  I like homer’s approach personally.

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